I have so many different emotions and feelings going on. Sometimes it's scary how quickly I can go from one to another. It is something like this... Happy, sad, frustrated, alone, excited, sad, happy, lonely, productive, lazy, happy, angry, confused, lost, elated, defeated, creative, happy...... And it just continues on and on like that on repeat for days. It is not all geared toward Griffin or any one particular event or situation. It is just the way my moods work. I try to get out of the house. I go on walks. I spend time in my studio. Some days I feel like I have nothing to say- like my sole responsibility is to take care of Griffin. Some days I can't shut up with excitement for something new. The ups and downs really kind of stink! Is it depression..... Absolutely. What can I do about it? It is a problem I am working on solving because something needs to change.....
Okay, just thought I'd share that stream of thoughts. No need to be alarmed, I truly am okay, just learning how to live life a different way.
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Being someone's EVERYTHING is both wonderful and entirely exhausting! And one thing is for sure, it's easy to become less and less of a person yourself. But I was just thinking yesterday (as silly as it sounds since I only have a 6 mon old) how fleeting this baby time is. There was a four mon old baby at our class, she was all petite like Olive and sooo tiny and cute. I instantly felt some pangs for what I used to have- a stationary, snuggle pal.
ReplyDeleteI've been feeling somewhat depressed this last week because of that situation I told you about. Sometimes you're just in it with what seems like no exit strategy. But you're right to try and identify the problem and work on what you can. We just have to hang in there on the tough days because better are soon coming. And take pleasure in the tiny moments!